| Excerpt 1: GUNS. "Hey, Pa! Look!!!" GUNS. "Wilderness . . . " GUNS. "Boom! "Bam ba ba bam bam! Bam ba ba bam bam!" GUNS. GUNS. "The tractive target." (Run, boooyyy!!!) "The tractive target." "Mmm hmm hmm hmm, the yellow mountain sun. The sun is gone, and all the roses falling . . . " ("Run, boooyyy!!!") GUNS. *BANG* "MAUREEN!!!" *BANG* *BANG* GUNS. *BANG* GUNS. GUNS. *BANG* ("RUNNNNNNNNN!!!") "Gee . . ." [GUNS] "There's a real Western story for ya!" [GUNS] "Gosh, what excitement! "(Processed) Quaker Puffed Rice Sparkys . . . " GUNS. "Gee . . . " "Let's get out of here!" "Don't move for that door, either of ya!" (" . . . and Quaker Puffed Wheat Sparkys!") "That's Hickok's voice!" "Where is he?" "I don't know . . . I can't see nothin'." "You don't have to see me. Now just settle down, you two." "We're gonna have a little talk!" "We can't stop!" ("Quaker Puffed Rice Sparkys . . . and Quaker Puffed Wheat Sparkys!") "We can't stop!" "We'll just sit back and wait." "We can't stop!" ("Quaker Puffed Rice Sparkys . . . and Quaker Puffed Wheat Sparkys!") "Stacy and I can wait as long as you can." (We can't stop!) "Can't we, Stacy?" (We can't stop!) "Uh . . . sure we can." ("Quaker Puffed Rice Sparkys . . . and Quaker Puffed Wheat Sparkys!") "Drag out your harmonica, Jingles." "Might as well have a little music while we're waiting." "Harmonica?" (We can't stop!) "Oh, sure thing, Bill! Somethin' happy." GUNS. GUNS. GUNS. "Quaker Puffed Rice Sparkys . . . and Quaker Puffed Wheat Sparkys! Those delicious, nutricious breakfast cereals . . . shot from guns!!!" "Bam ba ba bam bam! Bam ba ba bam bam!" *BANG* *BANG* "Yes, shot from guns!!!" "We can't stop. Get up in there. Hup." "We'll just sit back and wait." "Bursting forth with gigantic grains of goodness!" "They want shootin'. We give 'em their money's worth! Come on!" "We'll just sit back and wait." "Tasty Super Sparkys!" "Guess you can start on the harmonica now, Jingles." (All right.) "Better put that fancy gun in your hand. You might need it." "All right, I'll take my gun. I might need it." Excerpt 2:The following is the answer to a question from a talk show host about the kinds of gun holsters available for women. "Ankle holsters. There were garter belt holsters . . . uh, midriff holsters, which are not unlike the tank top, and a holster sewn into it. It fits, uh, underneath the breast area." [Gun ads aimed at women.] "Hello! I'm Tish. I'm shooting a Thompson submachine gun." [GUNS] "Hi, how are ya? I'm Denise from San Diego,
California,and I'm gonna show you how to shoot the
AK-47 automatic rifle"
[GUNS]
"The standard issue to the Soviet Bloc army, I
might add!"
[It's a BIG gun!]
"This gun weighs nine pounds, seven ounces, and fires 600
rounds per minute!"
[GUNS]
"The fifty-round drum is a lot of fun because you can just
shoot . . . "
[GUNS]
[GUNS]
[GUNS]
[GUNS]
[GUNS]
" . . . and just keep on shooting!"
[Blew the other window out!]
" . . . have the shoulder holster, then have standard hip
holsters, and, uh, waistband holsters . . . "
"The horizontal shoulder holster was the perfect accessory for
the business woman of the '80s."
[YEAH!]
"There ya go."
"What about ball gowns?"
"My name is Adrian. How are you doing today?"
[GUNS]
"I'm shooting the world-famous Uzi submachine gun!"
[GUNS]
"I can just imagine stopping a group of terrorists in their
tracks with this magnificent weapon!"
[GUNS!]
"The Uzi is a bit heavy at seven-and-a-half pounds . . . "
[GUNS]
[GUNS]
" . . . but that gives it some heft and something to hang on
to!"
[GUNS]
[GUNS]
[GUNS]
[GUNS]
"There's somthing about having a gun in your hands and being
able to control it."
[GUNS]
"I don't know what it is, but all the girls talked about it.
Anytime you want to go shooting, just give me a call . . . "
"What's next?"
[Put me on!]
"I really don't know anything about guns, but . . . "
[Put me on!]
" . . . when the producer said I was going to be shooting the
Uzi, I immediately recognized it as the gun the presidential
Secret Service men carry under their coats!"
"What's next?"
[Put me on!]
"Do the firearms themselves come in . . . "
[Put me on!]
" . . . uh, fashion colors?"
"Well, believe it or not . . . "
*BANG* *BANG* *BANG*
"Hello, am I on?"
[Oh no!]
[Live radio report from the John F. Kennedy assassination.]
"We're here at the Trademark. The motorcade is coming by here."
[Oh, no!]
"Just had a call on the radio for all units along Industrial . . . "
[Oh, no!]
" . . . to pick up the motorcade, something has happened here . . . "
[She calls.]
"We understand there has been a shooting . . . "
["Oh, no!" she calls. "Oh, no!" she calls. "Oh, no!" she calls.]
Excerpt 3: "Hello! I'm Tish. I'm shooting a Thompson submachine gun."
[GUNS]
"Hi, how are ya? I'm Denise, from San Diego, California,
and I'm gonna show you how to shoot the AK-47 automatic
rifle . . . "
[GUNS]
"The standard issue to the Soviet Bloc army, I might add!"
[It's a b-i-g gun!]
"This gun weighs nine pounds, seven ounces, and fires 600
rounds per minute!"
[GUNS]
"The fifty-round drum is a lot of fun because you can just
shoot . . . "
[GUNS]
[GUNS]
[GUNS]
[GUNS]
[GUNS]
" . . . and just keep on shooting!"
[Blew the other window out!]
" . . . have the shoulder holster, then have standard hip
holsters, and, uh, waistband holsters . . . "
"The horizontal shoulder holster was the perfect accessory
for the business woman of the '80s."
[YEAH!]
"There ya go."
"What about ball gowns?"
"My name is Adrian. How are you doing today?"
[GUNS]
"I'm shooting the world-famous Uzi submachine gun!"
[GUNS]
"I can just imagine stopping a group of terrorists in their
tracks with this magnificent weapon!"
[GUNS!]
"The Uzi is a bit heavy at seven and a half pounds . . . "
[GUNS]
[GUNS]
" . . . but that gives it some heft and something to hang on
to!"
[GUNS]
[GUNS]
[GUNS]
[GUNS]
"There's somthing about having a gun in your hands and being
able to control it."
[GUNS]
"I don't know what it is, but all the girls talked about it.
Any time you want to go shooting, just give me a call . . . "
"What's next?"
[Put me on!]
"I really don't know anything about guns, but . . . "
[Put me on!]
" . . . when the producer said I was going to be shooting the
Uzi, I immediately recognized it as the gun the presidential
Secret Service men carry under their coats!"
"What's next?"
[Put me on!]
"Do the firearms themselves come in . . . "
[Put me on!]
" . . . uh, fashion colors?"
"Well, believe it or not . . . "
*BANG* *BANG* *BANG*
"Hello, am I on?"
[Oh, no!]
"We're here at the Trademark. The motorcade is coming by
here."
[Oh, no!]
"Just had a call on the radio for all units along
Industrial . . . "
[Oh, no!]
" . . . to pick up the motorcade. Something has happened
here."
[She calls.]
"We understand there has been a shooting . . . "
["Oh, no!" she calls. "Oh, no!" she calls. "Oh, no!" she
calls.]
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